Before the 2011-12 NCAA Basketball started, I had a coffee and a few giggles with Randy McClure, RushTheCourt.net's bossman and a spectacular guy. I reaffirmed my commitment to helping his site by covering the SEC regardless of my ongoing personal issues at the time. By December 2011 -- after producing a column that I consider one of my finest works as a writer -- my issues overwhelmed me in ways that I didn't want to admit to myself or to others.
Instead of being honest with Randy, I over-promised and under-delivered or didn't deliver at all. My actions put an unfair burden on Randy and the other writers at RTC. Especially unfairly burdened was Co-SEC Microsite blogger Brian Joyce who essentially ran the site himself during the whole conference season.
That's the kind of bullshit you might expect from a stupid fresh-out-of-college kid or high-school-aged recruiting wonk. I'm too old and supposedly too mature for either of those categories. Professional writers deal with personal issues like any other working professional would: Open and honestly. Randy, Brian and RTC deserved to be treated professionally. I didn't do that, and I am truly ashamed of my past actions.
Randy, Brian and other RTC folks have been publicly gracious with me via Twitter. Consumate professionals as always. I appreciate their kindess towards me and will be eternally grateful for suffering through my season of incompleteness.
I don't mean to nitpick, but I pronounce it GI-mel (like Real Gimel), not GIM-mel. I'll take it either way. Thanks, Andy.
Andy was referring to my live-tweeting of the post-game press conference of the 2011 Crosstown Shootout. It was quite memorable since everybody there let their passions overwhelm them.
Update December 12th: A winning bid has been submitted! I don't expect any more bids this week, so I'll just go ahead and call it. Thanks to everybody for their support. An update on the group of winners soon!
Update December 5th: So $250 is just too steep for you assholes? Fine. Until December 19th, you can start your bidding at $150. You can split the cost up between members of your party: the more, the merrier! Remember that you're not just buying 8 hours of me on one day; I'm spending at least 10 hours creating the custom monsters and levels for your enjoyment. Send me a bid, won'tcha?
If you're not familiar with Penny Arcade's Child's Play, it is a yearly charity drive that collects video games, books and other forms of entertainment for children's hospitals across the globe. Since 2003, the charity has raised millions of dollars worth of materials that have helped miserable, sometimes terminally-ill kids cope with their hospital stay.
A long time ago, I was a cancer kid. I was fortunate enough to have family who could splurge on a NES while I was in the hospital being diagnosed. Being able to sink a few hours into Super Mario Bros. or Operation: Wolf helped me cope with the fear of the known and unknown. Other children don't have the luxury of families that can afford such gifts (on top of expensive hospital bills). Child's Play not only donates items that can be checked-out by kid patients, but also gifts the children can receive when they "celebrate" their birthdays during their inpatient stay.
I've donated to Child's Play in the past but this year I want to do something different. I offer my services as a college sports fan and Dungeons & Dragons player/Dungeon Master to create an unique one-day dungeon delve event for the highest-bidding group:
- A custom-created dungeon delve using D&D 4th Edition Rules. (Sorry 3.5/Pathfinder folks, I don't know that system well enough to DM.)
- I will travel up to 500 miles one-way from Lexington, KY (including Louisville, Indianapolis, Knoxville, Nashville, Huntington and other regional areas) to run this event. I have all the materials necessary: Just provide a table and chairs for your group and I.
- The campaign will be custom-tailored to your favorite team's NCAA basketball schedule. You will play characters based from the basketball players or coaches; you will fight monsters that are cheekily designed to be like your team's rivals. The locations will be modeled after basketball stadiums your team plays on -- including special traps you can trigger on teams that fight on your team's home court!
- I can also create a more traditional D&D setup or match a different theme based on your specifications. Let me know in the bidding process what you'd like.
- I will have at least four encounters for a total of at least eight hours of play. The gaming session can take place during the NCAA basketball season or afterwards.
The starting bid is
$250 $150. All proceeds will go directly to Child's Play. If you and your friends are interested in bidding, send me an email with the subject "Child's Play D&D". The highest bid by 12:01 AM on Monday, December 5th 19th will win my services. Update Dec. 12th: Bidding ended early! See above.
If you're not interested in hiring me for my nerd game, please consider donating to Child's Play directly. Thanks for your time.
Nov. 22nd Update: Just to clear up a few things:
- You don't have to know the Dungeons & Dragons rules to play. 4th Edition is like a strategy board game but allows an easy learning curve. Even if you and your group are D&D n00bs, it will be easy to learn the rules as we go.
- The session can be broken into two or more sessions. Eight hours in one day is a big commitment, especially for those of us with kids and whatnot. If you live closer to Lexington, I can break up the four encounters into two or four sessions. It usually takes about 2 hours to play one encounter. I can also do online hosting if you'd prefer.
- Kids are welcome. I'll make the adventure PG if you want to include your kids. Though I would recommend that your child has the ability to sit through other strategy-type games.