Halftime Adjustment Finding the Seams of Your Zone Since 2011

Wolken Over Everybody

Posted on February 8, 2011

This post is not written by the insufferable Dan Wolken, former columnist at the Memphis Commercial-Appeal and currently at The Daily. But we're pretending that he wrote this post.

* I guess Pitino is doing a good job this year. If you call not suffering through his typical underachiving slump in December with worse talent an improvement on his coaching, then you should start stumping for his Coach of the Year nomination. The only other thing that's changed at Louisville (besides the crappy hodge-podge of mid-major stars Pitino has assembled this year) are all the injuries. Next year, when Pitino gets in his big recruting class, he should take concussions more seriously and start dishing out a few; the Emergency Room Cardinals will make him look like a coaching genius yet again!

* Utah State is over-hyped every year because of that fat guy. Wild Bill has got just about every sports columnist and broadcast producer blinded by his pale poundage. You can put a college basketball team in a tiara and give them lessons, but that doesn't make them the Princess of the Sweet 16. Maybe if Utah State would lose the fat and start working out -- and, ya know, win a few games that matter -- people other than chubby chasers would take them seriously.

* Speaking of masquerading: When you're more excited about promoting Gus Johnson than you are your actual basketball games, Big Tenleventy, maybe you shouldn't let your refs worship Bo Ryan.

* And just so we're clear: College basketball sucks. The fans all suck because they don't really like basketball, they just like the laundry. The talented athletes all suck because they are over-handled and under-disciplined and by family and coaches. The not-talented athletes suck because they're not talented. The coaches suck because the coaches just want their star to shine the brightest. The NCAA is just one whirling vortex of suck that hopes a team like Butler gets to the Final Four every year; rooting for sucky underdogs is a much-better neutral audience attraction than listening to Jim Nantz and Clark Kellogg sucking off the latest big-name school who bought the best talent that year.

Shit. I gotta go workout. Catch you losers later.

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