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Why Your NCAA Team Lost: Sweet 16

Posted on March 26, 2011

Eight games, eight losers. You could read detailed post-game reviews at other news sites, but they won't use scenes from Major League 2. These quick, fake reasons are why each team lost their NCAA Tournament Sweet 16 game. (Man, I'm glad to stop using that strikethrough humor about the NCAA misaligned rounds.)

  • Richmond, Marquette --
  • San Diego State -- Kemba Walker has been paying attention in his Movement and Blocking Techniques for the Stage class this semester.
  • BYU -- Alex Tyus pretended he was wearing his dreadlocks again and went into Predator mode. Also, BYU got Jimmerette'd, since nobody else could help Jimmer score.
  • Ohio State -- Freshman forward Jared Sullinger had 21 points, 16 rebounds and battled for those numbers. Went just 6-16 3PT% for the game (senior guard Jon Diebler hit 4 of them). And... Ohio State kept Brandon Knight from scoring for the first 9:19 of the 1st half but couldn't stop him from scoring in the final 6 seconds of the game.
  • Wisconsin -- Got confused: Looked at Butler's line-up and thought, "Hey, this is a Big Ten team, we can shoot 30% and still win!"
  • Duke -- Sucked.
  • Florida State -- Derwin's army... with fists open... Leonard, his eyes uncovered! SHAKA, WHEN THE SEMINOLES FELL!

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Posted by Fake Gimel


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  1. After Kentucky knocked off this overrated Ohio State team, this year became the first time since the 2000 tournament that only one number 1 seed made it to the Elite Eight. It has happened only twice since the tournament expanded to 64 teams in 1985. By the way, Jared Sullinger is way overrated and has been exposed.


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