In case you haven't noticed, ESPN College Basketball Analysis Jay Bilas has been just killing Twitter with his short-style takedowns of NCAA nonsense and Bill Raferty parables. Sports journalists and college basketball fans alike are all in a titter, trying to draw attention to themselves to become Jay's first followed account on Twitter. (As of the time of this post, Jay follows no one.)
He is no gentleman, but we are not ladies. Don't think he'll hold that against us; ladies have never held any appeal for him.
Of course Jay will probably NOT use Twitter as an input device. But you'd think that he's getting a kick out of all of us
attention whores damsels swooning over being his first. With that in mind I project the odds of Bilasgasm: Jay's First Follow:
- CBSSports.com's Gregg Doyel -- 75:1. Gregg can't stop slutting it up.
- ESPN's Erin Andrews -- 20:1, 7:1 if Reebok signs Jay to a promotion deal.
- My Twitter Account -- 99:1. Pretty sure the number of f-bombs Jay has dropped in his lifetime are less than the number of f-bombs I dropped on Twitter Wednesday night when the Wildcats wouldn't win in Fayetteville.
- Dolph Lundgren -- 7:1.
- SI.com's Luke Winn -- 35:1, odds improve to 20:1 if in Luke's next Power Rankings Jay's stats from him playing at Duke are compared favorably against Jimmer's.
- @KarenOwenFList -- 999:1
- Coach Mike Krzyzewski's secret Twitter Account -- 5:1
The Fake Index Report is about the funniest sports-related fake accounts (that I follow) on Twitter. The Index will be posted each week* with the the top ten** fake posters since the last index. Please join this insane and pretty-much worthless enterprise by following my Twitter list of Fakes (or the fake accounts themselves). Any nominations for the Fake Index should be made via Twitter or in the comments of this post.
(* Or once every two weeks. Or whenever I feel like it.
** Or the top 15, or the top 8; I'm not going to hamstring Fake accounts into an arbitrary inflexible ranking list.)
The NBA All-Star game was quite the event for our Fakers. Like the stars and celebrities, members of our Index showcased their skills with fantastic material within the 140 character limit. Our Fakes' that are focused on college basketball also produced wondrous entertainment as the March Madness draws near.
Today's Fake Index
11. @NotJimmyDykes -- Parody account of ESPN Commentator Jimmy Dykes and Jimmy's wonderful nonsensical phrases. Kinda relied on nail jokes too much this period, but I'm hoping for more productive output like his Murray State analysis.
5. @NOTSportsCenter -- A collaborative effort that mocks sports news and the sports news culture. Broke some news about a new Cleveland Cavalier signing and possible destinations for the currently-unsigned Albert Pujols.
4. @SteveKragthorpe -- Kinda a parody account of former University of Louisville head football coach Steve Kragthorpe. He was celebrating the 1996 University of Louisville retro basketball jerseys and he dreamed a little dream.
3. @DaggumRoy -- A fantastic, over-the-top parody of University of North Carolina head coach Roy Williams. He's been exceptionally thrilled with the NCAA tournament selection process. But he also suffered through tragedy.
1. @fauxjohnmadden -- Surprisingly not a parody account. FauxJohn drove his Faux Cruiser to the NBA All-Star game and came away with some great analysis. His spectacular work with the #sixwordnovels hashtag propelled him ahead of the rest. That's a big-ol' number one for a big-ol' pile of great work.
On the Next Fake Index: March Madness, ho! Plus I'll call out members of the Fake Index who aren't pulling their weight. Fake Index De-listing is serious business.
No, it wasn't that Nolan Smith and Seth Curry outplayed the UNC guards. It wasn't Kyle Singler holding Harrison Barnes in check. It definitely wasn't the Duke forwards scrapping for rebounds and getting a ton of offensive rebounds in the second half. No, no no. This scrappy widdle nationally-ranked Duke team had to out-HEART the Tar Heels!
Below is a quick, fake video summary of Duke's victory tonight.